Confessions
by Syrenslure
Summary: Cordelia takes Angel out to cheer him up and ends up making a startling confession after having a little too much to drink. (Cordelia/Willow)


Confessions  
  
by Syrenslure  
  
love2watch@softhome.net  
  
SPOILERS: Takes place in the current season (Season 4 Buffy, Season 1 Angel), pretty much everything up to that is spoiled as Cordelia gets a little reminiscent.  
  
NOTES: Willow is not actually in this part, but she is discussed.  
  
  
  
The waitress brought another round of drinks to the table, giving a curious look to the unlikely trio. Tall, dark and gorgeous was just sitting there all quiet, sipping his drink. She had barely heard him speak all evening. He seemed to be looking out for his friends though.  
  
That other guy, "Can you say weird?" All snooty and stuffy. "Who does he think he is better than?" Certainly needs a woman *eyes him carefully* or a man for that matter.  
  
She certainly has their attention, but I don't know if that brunette has shut up all night. At least not since the third round.  
  
Angel was watching Cordelia closely, as she kept talking and talking. He knew she meant to distract him from thoughts of Buffy, but it seemed that she had long forgotten that goal. Earlier she had gotten on his case.  
  
"You have been all broody guy lately, more so than usual. Ii can't put up with this. It's so depressing. It wouldn't kill you to smile occasionally. You know, since you're already dead and all. Your going to scare off all the clients. Not that we've had any lately, which is why you can't scare any off if we do get some. 'Cause then how would you pay me?"  
  
Angel gave a little half-smile at that thought. Cordelia always brought the subject back to money. It wasn't, as most people thought, that she was shallow, but that it's what people expected and it helped her from touchy-feely moments like telling Angel she was worried about him.  
  
Cordelia saw the smile and latched onto it. "You should do that more often, you know. You don't look half bad when you smile. It's not like it's the end of the world, you know. So Buffy's in love with someone else... big deal, it's not like it's any great loss."  
  
She paused and Angel started to reply when she interrupted, "I was in love once. Bet you'll never guess with who."  
  
"With whom," Wesley corrected.  
  
"Well, duh, you're supposed to guess."  
  
While amused, self-preservation got the most of him and Angel went to stop this before Cordelia said something she would reget later. "Cordelia..."  
  
"Noooo- " she said. "Gee, is that what everyone thinks? Snooty little Cordelia could only love herself."  
  
"Well, that Xander fellow..." having no such self-preservation instinct, Wesley decided to play.  
  
Cordelia practically spit her drink in a very unlady-like response to that. "That loser... NOT! Bet you can't guess," she taunted.  
  
"Really dear..."  
  
"C'mon guess."  
  
"Well, if you want us to guess, it must be someone we know, right?"  
  
Cordelia nodded soberly, which was quite surprising considering just how drunk she was.  
  
"Doyle," Wesley ventured, "Though I didn't really know the chap."  
  
"Nope"  
  
"Well, who else is there? Giles?"  
  
Cordelia just gave him a scathing look.  
  
"And well, there's myself, of course, but..."  
  
"Please, Mr. So-needs-to-get-over-himself and it isn't Mr. Tall brooding and deadly either. No offense, Angel.  
  
I was in love with Willow. " Cordelia nodded. "She was half the reason I went out with Xander in the first place, and why I dumped his sorry ass."  
  
Even Angel looked slightly stunned at this revelation. Wesley was trying his best not to look like he was having a heart attack.  
  
"She is beautiful and smart and everybody loves Willow. Well, not like I loved her, but you know what I mean. I thought that if I started dating Xander I could you-know, hang out with her more. I mean, he followed her around like a little puppy dog. Willow this and Willow that. And all this weird and yucky stuff kept happening to us. Kind of like now, you know monsters and demons and creepy crawly things like bug men. Except then I didn't know how to kick demon butt. Half the time, when I kissed him, it was like to shut him up.  
  
Besides going out with him was better than telling the truth. I mean Harmony flipped when I started dating Xander, but just imagine what would have happened if everyone found out I was gay. Harmony would have had a party with that one. I would have been a social pariah. I mean it's ok for Larry and all, but me, never.  
  
That's why I was so mean to her. I mean no one would actually think I liked her, right?  
  
Xander of course made me so mad. Not only did he cheat on me, but he cheated with HER. I so could not believe it when I walked in and saw them kissing. It hurt so bad and I don't just mean the whole impaling thing.  
  
I never told her. I just moved here, figured it would be easier and everything. I still think about her though. I mean I do the whole actress thing, date the rich, good-looking men. Mostly 'cause I know they don't have a chance. They're not her, so who cares. I get bored and I dump them. They can't hurt me."  
  
She stopped and looked down into her almost empty glass before calling the waitress over for another. Wesley sat adjusting his tie, looking uncomfortable. Angel reached out and covered her glass, shaking his head to the waitress.  
  
"It think you've had enough. Let's get you home."  
  
Angel took her home and tucked her into bed. As he was getting ready to leave, he looked back on her sleeping form and realized he did feel better after all. 


End file.
